After my beetroot discovery I decided to give a full salad a go. I was a bit worried about it, but I had a quiche in the fridge so I cut a slice of that to go with it as a bit of a safety net. If you’ve read my previous post you’ll know that this is a huge step for me, I had to remind myself that the absolute worst case scenario is that I don’t like it, and put it back in the fridge for someone else to eat (my fiancé and housemate are both happy to finish up anything I don’t like instead of wasting food).
On my plate I had: beetroot, cucumber, feta cheese, mixed salad leaves, honey & mustard salad dressing, cheddar cheese, ham, a light baby bel and the safety quiche. Once I had put it all together I realised I had way too much cheese for this to be classed as a healthy meal, but feta was new to me and I had no idea if I would like it. The salad dressing was also new to me so this meal definitely felt like stepping into the unknown. As I wasn’t cooking for anyone else that night I decided to take it up to my room to eat at my desk rather than sitting in silence in the living room.
I started by eating a bit of the beetroot with some of the salad leaves, the dressing was tangy but not too strong. This was the point I realised I love beetroot! I kept going trying to add in some bits of ham and cucumber and it was no surprise to me that I liked that too. Next came the feta, I’d read that it goes well with beetroot so I tried them together, and I loved it! I was halfway through my plate of food before I realised I hadn’t even thought of touching the quiche as I was enjoying the rest of it so much. It was at this point that my fiancé walked in and asked how it was going, so I told him how much I was enjoying it. He then said something along the lines of (I cant remember word for word after the effect it had!) “I’m so glad you like feta, I’m so proud of you for trying new things” and I burst into tears.
Happy tears for overcoming something that’s been so hard for so many years. There’s been so many times in my adult life where my eating habits have caused anxiety. Every time there’s a family gathering with food I’m filled with dread at the prospect of trying to eat enough that I don’t seem rude, while also trying not to eat anything I don’t like. Upon reflection i wonder if there was also some sadness at the fact I struggled for such a long time.
It took me a bit of time to wipe the tears away so I could finish my dinner, with my dog attempting to climb on me when she realised i was crying (she’s a pug x shih zu called Gracie, brilliant at emotional smarts and pizza eating, rubbish at fetch, swimming or any other normal dog-related activities!). The quiche was the last bit of the meal i ate, and next time i probably wont put it on the plate at all. I also probably wouldn’t bother with the cheddar cheese and instead opt for a sensible amount of feta.
Another food success and I’m looking forward to the next!